No man is an island, people are important to us getting ahead. It does not matter if we are in school, in employment or running our own business we will sometimes have differing opinions from the people around us . It is important to learn how to win people to our way of thinking, this helps you get people to agree with your ideas and in the end you will be able influence people and decisions made. the third lesson taken from Dale Carnegie’s book HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE .
Lesson 3 How to win people to your way of thinking.
1. Don’t Argue
The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. If you argue and contradict you may achieve a victory sometimes but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponents good will
How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument
- Welcome the disagreement, when 2 people always agree one of them is not necessary. It there is some point you have not thought about be thankful it has been brought to your attention take the opportunity for correction before a serious mistake is made.
- Distrust your first instinctive impression – our first natural reaction to a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm watch out for the first reaction
- Control your temper don’t become angry
- Listen first- let your opponent talk and finish do not defend or debate. Build bridges not barriers
- Look for areas of agreement. Dwell on areas you agree
- Be honest Admitted where you made an error apologize where necessary. This helps to disarm the other person.
- Promise to think, over your opponents ideas, if they are right let them know and acknowledge it.
- Thank the person sincerely for your interests anyone who takes their time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are
- Propose an action to give both sides to think about
- Avoid making enemies – show respect to other people’s opinions
- If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically
- Get the other person to say yes immediately
- Let the other person do most of the talking- it is the best way to handle complaints, let he complainant talk and you listen actively.
- Get cooperation by letting the other the other person think the idea is theirs.
- Try to o see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic to the other persons ideas or desires,
- Appeal to the other persons nobler motives
- Dramatize your ideas – it is a good way to make people understand
- Throw down a challenge – the way to get things done is to stimulate competition, the desire to excel is a good way of appealing to people’s spirit.